Monday, September 14, 2015
I do not know why the first posting of this was removed, but I am on the phone with my mother right now and she says she did not authorize its removal and has told me to re-post. To My First Prince Charming... Dad, It's quiet in here. Don't even know if anyone knows this memorial exists, other than me. I wish I would have gotten one last hug, one last chance to look into those beautiful eyes, one last chance to hear that chuckle of yours. One more chance to tell you I love you, and hear you tell me you love me too... or sing "Deuie, Deuie, Deuie, Deuie, Deuie." I didn't fall apart when you left like I always thought and said I would... but then, I also have not been to your grave since we buried you either. I think cousin Duane will go to your grave with me before the month is out. Yes, I know, you're not really there, just your vessel. Honestly, I think the grave simply serves as a place where we can just stop and be... be quite, be in thought of times spent together... just... be. If I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this, instead, you would still be watching Miranda grow up. But all the should have, could have, and would haves don't do any good in the here and now. They are just invisible weights of useless, wasteful hope. They say things happen the way they do for a reason; I've always believed that to be true, I suppose I must believe that to be true now too. Though I wish you could see how much Miranda has grown and how much more she has learned. I pray you are resting soundly in The Lord right now... as the Bible says is what happens. The night before you left us, my plan was to call you the next day. I wanted to tell you what I had been learning and doing for the previous few weeks. I wanted to set up a date for us to go to the range, for you to give me some tips and lessons... for you to watch the one you called "my brass" hit that bulls-eye so I could turn around and see that smile of, "yeah, that's MY girl!" I didn't get to make that call. Instead, my phone rang as we were rustling up breakfast... I don't even remember if it was Ashley or Doug who called to tell me that you were taken to the hospital after a difficult night. The next call I got........................... I miss you! Soooooo much, I miss you! And Miranda misses you! Btw, we are not out of the woods yet with her Graves disease. It's been a tough ride. We are giving it one more year to level out and heal, hopefully her heart is strong enough to take it. Also, as you know, Miranda believes that when a person "rests" in The Lord, they are in Heavens "waiting room"... she likes to think that you, your mom, Gram Berry, and Mom-Mom Bluebird are having tea parties. I suppose tea parties are a way to rest or relax with The Lord, after all, you can't sleep all the time. ;-) Well, Dad, I have got to get going for now, I've got an appointment this morning and then some running this afternoon. I love you... Forever. Your Brass Princess Dawn (Deuie) Originally posted Wednesday September 09, 2015
